Work in progress…

Walls. They provide protection, define boundaries, separate rooms, and split nations. Metaphorically they have been known to represent a period of difficulty in sports, learning, or life in general. They are also representative of emotional barriers, blockades erected to keep others out or to protect what is inside. While there are many great examples of architecturally magnificent walls (think China for example), there are many more examples of walls with far less ubiquitous appeal. An historical and modern example come to mind. The modern of course being President Trump’s campaign centerpiece, a great wall of his own to separate the United States from its southern neighbor. The historical wall fittingly given our current area of service is the Berlin Wall. A divide created to ostensibly force an ideological separation. In any case, most walls are associated with some degree of isolation and attempt to protect “what is mine” from those who want it.
A quick search of the Internet yields a surprising number of quotes related to the benefits of walls, however. Will Smith, in a metaphor for how to create success or build a career said:
“You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built.’ You don’t start there. You say, ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid.’ You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall.”
The Chinese national anthem, alluding to its masterfully built territorial boundary also exalts the greatness of a wall with the lyrics: “Arise! People who don’t want to be slaves! With our very flesh and blood, let us build our new Great Wall.” I am sure Successories, the online and retail shop specializing in photos and posters designed to maximize office motivation has an entire section devoted to the pros and cons of walls.
One of my favorite wall references however is not the now famous Ronald Reagan exhortation to Mikhael Gorbachev to “Tear down this wall” but instead a cinematic allusion found in the film Facing the Giants. The film centers on a football coach who, to put it mildly, is having a run of bad luck. I won’t spoil the film other than to make reference to its use of the Biblical story of Nehemiah in which the King of Israel asks him to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. Nehemiah is a master craftsman but surprisingly his real skills are evoked when Jerusalem’s neighbors, who had been the perpetrators of the destruction of the old walls, learn of his plans to rebuild. They gather their forces in preparation to put a halt to the rebuild operations. Nehemiah rallies not troops, but brick layers telling them to lay bricks with one hand and hold spears with the other. No doubt tough work, but in the end Nehemiah builds his stone wall all while fending off some ne’er do wells. I like the story (and the movie is a family favorite as well) because it spends less time discussing why they need the wall, how they fought to build it, or how many of the enemy died. Instead, it is a story of a man who learns of the destruction of a great wall that protected a holy city. He feels a calling to offer his services to the king to rebuild these walls, even at his own peril, and succeeds. This is a story of how building a wall is sometimes just as important as tearing one down.
Now by this point the question is likely coming to your mind, as it is mine. What is the point of this wall discussion? Glad we asked. When we struck out on our service year we planned our first stop to be in Germany. This was not by our design but rather was a good fit for our hosts. We knew only that our first service opportunity with the community would be to assist with the church’s Vacation Bible School program. More on that event another time but suffice to say it was amazing. Beyond this three days of work we honestly had no idea how we could be of service to a first world country in middle Germany. On the first Sunday after we arrived I learned somewhat second hand what the next project would be. Following our first Sunday service we had the opportunity to fellowship with the congregation. While it was difficult what with very few of them able to speak conversational English and our almost complete lack of any serviceable German I was able to determine during one conversation that I was “the guy” who was going to build the wall. Internally I chuckled a bit having just recently arrived from the US, a fresh dose of daily news about the “left” and the “right” takes on our President’s wall plans. Politics aside it goes without question that this is a divisive issue, most walls are just that after all. In any case I found it a bit amusing that an American was being asked to build a wall in Germany.
That evening the pastor of the church, a very kind, patient, and amusing man, invited us to his home across the way from the church to join he and his immeasurably lovely wife for dinner. We gladly accepted and were surprised to meet their youngest son, home from studies on holiday, along with his girlfriend. They were gracious enough to serve as the evening’s interpreters. The evening began with standard casual conversation, introductions, questions about where we come from, why we were there, and where we planned to go next. We asked about the church, how many members, a little background about the town, and what we should see on weekend excursions. Eventually, however, I broke down. Having spent the better part of 23 years working more or less full time I was disinclined to being idle. For the last 6 days we had done nothing but eat, rest, and sightsee. I was planning a year of service, not vacation. My mind was racing to find out what good could be accomplished here in this town which would look no more out of place in the United States than my own hometown. The pastor chuckled and simply said, “next week”. This phrase has become somewhat of an inside joke for us as I have come to know it to mean that what is to come will come, be patient. My first brick – patience.
A few days passed, more sightseeing, enjoying the town, grocery shopping daily, and making an impression on the townsfolk (it’s amazing how quickly you can become recognized when you can’t speak the native language). Sara and I were given snippets here and there of what would come to pass for Vacation Bible School and I was hopeful to hear more about the wall project. But, as Pastor Joannes extolled, I was patiently awaiting “next week”. Surprisingly though, amidst the run up to the very busy and time intensive VBS preparations I was told that Pastor Johannes and I would be taking a run to the neighboring town of Felgeleben. There I would see the site of the church and get my first look at the project. We would be meeting Achim, the owner of the construction company contracted to assist in the wall project. Achim is a true gentleman, kind, no doubt wise, and completely incapable of speaking English. It should be noted that in East Germany students were taught German and as their second language, Russian. As a result, older GDR citizens such as Achim would have very little access to English teaching. Beyond that though Achim clearly knows his craftsmanship and doesn’t need to speak English for anyone. He was easily able to convey what my work would entail speaking wholly in German but using visual cues. Johannes helped with translation and after a short 30 minute meeting it was clear that I was to help re-mortar a standing wall for the church building which had been built around 1890. The wall was complete with missing bricks (allowing a peep hole through to the other side), generous coverings of old ivy roots, and even some trees that were attempting to make a go of growing in the brick. The wall was in poor shape to say the very least. But I was excited for the work and given the generosity already shown to our family there was no way I would even think of passing up the opportunity. Brick two – willingness.
About a week later I was given the green light for the go ahead on the project. We arrived at 7am and met with Achim and one of his staff, Michael. Michael thankfully knew some English, which he learned in school but had not used since then, some 30+ years prior. I suspect his retention of the English language stemmed from his penchant for 80’s music which he kindly played on the portable stereo while we worked. Michael took his orders from Achim and then explained that our first job was to clear the wall of debris such as old vine roots, rotted out mortar, and the occasional aforementioned sapling. By 11am my IWatch proudly buzzed me that I had accomplished my move goal for the day. Based on the amount of sweat and soreness my body felt I had no doubt about that. Unfortunately for my hydration and achy muscles the day was far from over. Finally clearing the bricks of that which was ailing them, we power washed and then Michael gave me what was arguably the shortest but perhaps most effective tutorial on Fugen (the German term for mortar). Unfortunately, his English vocabulary was not the strongest for this type of discussion so what I learned I deciphered from the few words I could remember from German classes and an almost terrified focus on every movement he made. I realized in very short order that the plan was for him to show me the ropes, hand me the trowel, and then for me to complete the mortaring of the wall by myself. I was immediately grateful for my father-in-law who some 15 years prior had helped me with a home project to install a gas grill in our backyard. I was also acutely aware that it had been 15 years since I had done any masonry work and that the project we worked on had taken two days or so at most. I was in over my head, literally the wall is a good 7 feet high and my masonry knowledge was rivaled only in ignorance by my international travel experience. I set out to begin the project mindful of the directions which I pieced together from Michael and I realized that while I had just a few short weeks ago been a rather successful salesperson with a strong client base, a litany of responsibilities, and been considered a go-to guy for solving many problems, was now an abject novice. Brick three – humility.
Walls, it seems, even if already standing, do not always conform to the wills of those who build them. As it turns out they are somewhat temperamental. For example, walls, and the mortar which protects them, don’t particularly like hot weather and sunlight. It tends to dry out the mortar too quickly rendering it dry and flaky and less able to stand up to the abuses of mother nature. As a result, in very short order I was forced to alter what I thought was a game plan of how I could tackle this wall project efficiently and effectively. By nature I fancy myself a problem solver and figured I could have this wall redone in a matter of days. For a seasoned pro this may have well been possible. For me, not so fast my friend. Admittedly I can happily say I was able to quickly catch on to some of the tricks I saw Michael employ to work quickly but effectively but the ramp up was painstakingly slow. Thus I had to reluctantly take pride in very small victories. But my plans for completing the wall in a few days were thwarted. From meetings at school to extremely unusually warm weather, I had to rethink and re-plan. I would have been far more concerned with this outcome if not for the encouraging drop-ins from Johannes and Achim. Achim especially, despite our inability to understand the other’s language, was especially encouraging. As near as I could tell he was not scolding me for poor craftsmanship or hastening the collapse of the wall but was instead pointing out the areas I had done well and where I had missed the mark. A truly gifted manager, Achim motivated me to always improve, recognize what the good work was, and strive to achieve it again. I learned that in order to achieve this I needed to be able to adjust to weather, my own shortcomings, and to a great language divide. In other words, I needed a fourth brick – flexibility.

I was making progress. The wall was starting to look like a wall again. Not the prettiest sight due to my lack of skills but it would stand up for at least a few more years. I was getting into the groove, using the tools provided to me with more expertise and gaining a better understanding of how this was supposed to go. Sadly, I was becoming a bit arrogant. What better way to kill arrogance than with a sharp dose of reality. I was busily working away in the morning of the sixth day when I felt a sudden pain in my hand. Pain was not unusual at this point as the first five days had left my hands aching and cramped from tightly holding the mortaring tools as I attempted my best to make a perfect-ish wall. This pain was different. I removed my glove and realized that somehow a copious amount of mortar had worked its way into my glove and had now created what could only be described as the world’s most unexpected and equally unwelcome exfoliation treatment. My palm had shed what in my estimation was all of its skin though a medical expert would probably suggest a few layers. Nevertheless I had rendered my hand virtually useless and my self imposed work shift was less than half over. I stared at my hand, open wound stinging in the soft breeze, and then laughed. Just moments earlier I was certain I was becoming an expert brick layer and mortar technician and then within a blink I realized, rather painfully, how much I had to learn. I made a few adjustments, put the gloves back on, smiled and went back to work. It wasn’t the most pleasant day’s work but with each sting I was reminded to remain humble. Humility it seems can breed humor. Another brick in my wall.

I had put in about 65 hours worth of work on the wall when I came to find out what the project was about. I understood the wall was in poor condition. I understood that the church had told us they could use our help. What I had not known was that the Elders of the church were concerned about the cost of repairing this wall. As it turns out, despite the immensity and beauty of the churches in this town, there are very few Christians, or at least practicing Christians. I am not sure yet if this is a product of a generation of Soviet control or otherwise but Pastor Johannes estimated that only about 7% of the townspeople were Lutheran (the denomination of our hosts). As we all know, that number might represent those who identify but does not reflect the number who attend. As a result, the church is not in a financial position to simply reconstruct as it wants, and in some cases as it needs. So it was at this time that I learned that my work was a great help to the church as it represented a significant cost savings. Labor is expensive, but I work cheap. I was happy to learn then that my efforts were important. Not simply a nice touch to build a prettier façade on a church building but rather a needed and helpful contribution to the ongoing life of the church community. No doubt these people will still meet, still be believers, but it is affirming to know that they had a need which I could in a small way help to assuage. Moreover, I feel like my contribution now in some way “pays” for the generosity and welcome these people have extended to my family. Through their efforts and my own we have developed the final brick – appreciation.

I have thought a lot about the people of Schoenebeck as I have worked on this wall. I have thought a lot about how walls usually separate people. Good fences make good neighbors after all right? Well, perhaps good walls make good friends too. In a time in which the discussion of walls can incite vitriol and even violence, it is reassuring to my mind and heart that this wall has created understanding, peace, friendship, and opportunity for people of different backgrounds to find common understanding, if not common language.

In 1990, following the fall of the Berlin wall, two artists, one French and the other German-Iranian, painted a 7 meter mural on a portion of the wall still standing. It was attributed to an African saying.
“Many small people, who in many small places do many small things, can alter the face of the world.”

And so your adventure begins….

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “ Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

After quite a buidup the day arrived.  But it did not come without fanfare, or rather without handwringing, tension, fights, and panic.  Despite the best laid plans, good intentions, and a lot of help from friends, our lead up in those final days in Madison was anything but calm and reassuring.  From a panicked run to drop off an unexpected overabundance of household goods to the loss of some electronics and a VERY later than expected departure from our home, one woud not think that we were even remotely ready to leave it all and head out.

Admittedly I was probably the one thinking that the most.  As expected the days leading up to our move from Madison to our temporary stay in Fond Du Lac flew by.  Each minute seemed but a second, each hour shorter than the last.  As time grew precious, patience began to vanish.  Sara and I kept our best foot forward trying our best to remind ourselves that all would be okay.  There was no reason to stress, we had plenty of time, the kids needed to enjoy their final days at our home.  Alas our Type A’s would not succomb to reason and the emotions of the oncoming embarkment combined with the desire to meet unattainable and ultimately unnecessary timelines took over.  Instead of thoroughly enjoying those last days we crammed cleaning, last minute venison jerky making, and final packing into every last moment.  When a box was too small or an item overlooked one or both of us would immediately curse with frustration while the other tried to calm the situation.

Saturday morning rolled along and after another late night the alarm at 6am was seemingly the last straw.  We grumpily arose realizing that the temper tantrums thrown by our two elder children the night before (on their last night in the house, oh my gosh how could they, we said at the time) would no doubt rekindle like an ember in a forest fire.  Sure enough within 10 minutes or so of our waking up we were greeted by the cocophany of children hollering at one another over some mundane transgression, I think someone’s arm hit the other person’s elbow or the like.  I could tell immediately this was not going to go as planned.  Now, I should note that the day before Noah himself would have feared the deluge that befell Madison and surrounding areas.  Moreover, the forecast called for additional rain starting particualry in the late afternoon.  Moving in the back of our open bed pick-up truck all of our backpacks laden with our meager posessions for the next year along with a rather nice leather chair to be stored was becoming a treacherours proposition.

The plan therefore called for waking up early, packing up the small collage of remaining items, a quick clean up of the last few rooms which hadn’t been cleaned in the week before, a stop for breakfast with friends, and then off we would go.  Up by 6, out by 1.  Well, as I should have remembered acutely from the beginng of this process, if you want to make God laugh, make a plan.  The Lord must have been in tears over this one.  The tantrum at 6:30 was just the start of what would amount to a roughly 15 minute interval of arguments and tears over which Sara and I had to redirect to help get our adolescent helpers back on track.  The plan to pack up our last remaining items turned into a full on call out of reinforcements as we realized rather quickly that someone (me) had either underestimated what the piles of boxes and backpacks would actually look like in the back of the truck or had overestimated the size of said truck.  Either way there was no way we were getting everyting to fit.  A quick call to our friends who are generously (the thesaurus has no stronger a term to describe their gratiousness) storing the bulk of our wares and our original plan shifted into a trip to make a drop off.  That which we could no longer fit, or felt comfortable in doing, was taken to Goodwill for another in a series of donations.  That which would not fit and not worth donating now made its way to an unplanned garbage dump drop.  By this point the only thing we had successfully accomplished on time was eating breakfast.  By 1pm we were still making deliveries, no where near completing our final packing as well as cleaning the house.  I was beyond fustrated and now, loooking at the forecast yet again, in almost terror that we would have to rely on our old green tarp to save the day.

We finally hit the road at 4:30 with yet one last stop to make to drop off some papers.  As I gazed upwards the ominous clouds left me with very little reassurance that we would make it dry.  My new plan was to make the drop then hit a gas station to pick up some bungee cords so we could tie down the tarp.  We left the driveway and drifted down the road, a few droplets hit the windshield but so far so good.  We arrived a few minutes later, parked under a large and fortunately impenetrabe elm, and were greeted with a sheet of rain.  We passed over our documents and then asked our friend if she might have some bungees to SOS, save our stuff!  We lucked out with some extra bungees and we amateurishly applied them to our tarp, providing a protective if not entirely waterproof shield.  Disaster averted, a few more goodbyes, and we were off yet again.

“Ha ha ha”, I can only imagine was the sound bellowing from the heavens.  We entered the freeway and within one exit I could see that this tarp was not making the 70 mile drive to Fond Du Lac.  I immediately envisioned the tarp either snapping the bungees or the grommets simply giving way and sending a giant green vehicular blindfold drifting down the highway.  While God was laughing, my insurance company most assuredly would not.  We quickly evacuated the highway, took refuge in a gas station, and hoped to find a more permanent and safe solution.  The store was completely devoid of hope in the form of bungees and rope.  The kids nervously watched as I returned from the store, no goods in hand.  They understood what this meant, damp clothing at best, a total loss at worst.  We had a quick family meeting and the decision was made to give it over to God.  The tarp would come off and be stowed away and we would pray for no rain.

Now those of you who have read our previous posts know that this trip was practically sponsored by “Signs ‘R Us’.  At every step we have felt called, compelled, or flat out shown the way.  Fast forward on our drive north and as we pull into our friend’s driveway, at 6:30 instead of 3, we were told that it had literally dumped rain all day up until just a short time, like twenty minutes or so, prior to our arrival.  In other words, had we followed our plan I would be typing this in my skivies or in the raw (my apologies for the visual) waiting for our clothes to dry and lamenting the loss of yet another household effect, not to mention our tablets, laptop, etc.  Some might see this as coincidence and I promise you that several years ago I would have too.  But when it’s “coincidence” on a reoccurring basis it sure is hard to ignore.

After a rather uneventful but enjoyable stay with our friends, Monday morning rolled around and we were ready to get going.  But prior to hopping on the train to get to the airport we had one more family meeting.  This time we talked about challenge.  The last few days had reminded us that our plan was not going to go off without a hitch or two.  There would be many situations out of our hands and control.  So this time we discussed taking a lesson from the Lord.  When the plan does not go accordingly, when someone steps on our foot, when we lose a waterbottle in the airport (happened on day 2 upon our arrival in Germany), we won’t get angry, we are going to LAUGH.

Epilogue:

As I finished typing and was going through a once over for typos Sara scorfunlly shut her tablet in dismay realizing that she may have just overpaid, by a fair amount, for our planned train ride tomorrow.  I simply smiled and reminded her to laugh (and to have a sip of wine).

God’s Grace Continues to Light the Path

As our departure date is fast approaching (33 days from today) I continue to become acutely aware of how real this all is and I have noticed the fear and anxiety start to surface as the reality of our path approaches. Last night was no different; I could feel the fear and anxiety rising up inside me, the barrage of questions swirling in my head, and the complete uncertainty of the path we have decided to walk. What were we thinking…quitting our jobs, leaving our home behind, taking our three children out of school to serve complete strangers around the world for one full year, and to top it off utilizing our savings to make it all happen because “we heard” and “we felt” called. I;m pretty confident that these feelings surfaced because all the things we have put off until the very end are happening (because we are at the very end)–selling our van and downsizing to one car, wrapping up jobs, and saying goodbye to friends and family. We returned home from a wonderful week long trip to see and say goodbye to family in Michigan and then on to spend a long weekend with wonderful friends and, again, say goodbye. We all unpacked the car and the kids went to bed. I took the short drive up to the store for some milk for breakfast and to get Jeff and I some dinner when these feelings and thoughts surfaced again with full force. As I pulled out of the drive-through parking lot and turned the corner to head home a song I had never heard came on the radio called All In by Matthew West. The lyrics of this song made me laugh out loud in my car…

“So, I step to the edge and I take a deep breath; We’re all dying to live but we’re all scared to death. And this is the part where my head tells my heart; You should turn back around but there’s no turning back now.”

“I’m going all in; Headfirst into the deep end. I hear You calling; And this time the fear won’t win. I’m going, I’m going all in.”

I have never been a believer of “signs”, but I have come to be a huge believer in the Holy Spirit and God lighting the path for me and providing me with assurance that this is His plan for me and for my family. The funniest part for me was that the very next song that came up was Thrive by Casting Crowns. This song has been like a theme song for Jeff and I through this process of planning and preparations, the words singing out to our hearts in a way we could not imagine.

“Just to know You and to make You known; We lift Your name on High. Shine like the sun made darkness run and hide. We know we were made for so much more than ordinary lives. It’s time for us to more than just survive; We were made to thrive.”

It may sound absurd, but at the very moment I could feel the fear and anxiety completely disappear and was instead replaced with peace and comfort. I was so overwhelmed at how peaceful my heart felt when just minutes before I was so heavy with fear. And all of this because of the songs that came on the radio. Now some may say that was just fate or coincidence. You can call it whatever you want. I will call it God’s way to comfort me in my time of fear, telling me that it’s okay to be afraid and then giving me the strength and solace needed to continue on our path.

God’s path for us is not always lit with neon signs flashing above our heads showing us the way, so we have to have our ear, eyes, and hearts open and we have to be willing to allow His way and His light to shine through us. He may ask a lot of us and it may be very difficult and maybe even painful at times, but He is not sending us on this path to harm us but to help us shine His light in this dark world, to help us fulfill His son’s commandment:

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your souls, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:34-40.

We are embarking on a journey that is going to be difficult and we are going to face many struggles along the way, but we love our God and we have chosen to follow His path for us to serve our neighbors around the world despite these challenges. We will continue to pray for God to shine His light though us and to help us love Him with all our hears, souls, and minds and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

The “What” Versus the “Why”

Many people have asked about the connection between our faith and the mission to which we have been called. I think the best way is to decipher between the “what” we are doing and the “why” we are doing it; this distinction is crucial.

What we are doing (volunteer and service work) has nothing to do with our religion or even religion at all. Our goal is to serve others as they need it, to help where we can, to try to make their lives a little better, and to show them they are loved beyond their family, their hometown, etc by someone on the other side of the world. We want people to feel the love that we feel from our Lord.

With that being said, we are not seeking to change anyone’s religion, beliefs, traditions, or culture. All we want to do is show them we love them for the person they are today. We want our global brothers and sisters to feel and experience the love we have for them.

Now the “why” we are doing it is deeply rooted in our Christian faith. We believe that we have been called to show Christ’s love for ALL of His children, not for the purpose or sake of changing them, but just to love them. We believe that Christ has called us to this path because people around the world need to feel they are loved by people of different nations, cultures, and religions because God loves ALL His children, and our family can do this; show love to ALL people.

Casting Off Globally, the non-profit that Jeff and I started, has the hope and mission to help families find the opportunities to serve and volunteer together. Casting Off Globally (COG) is the bridge to the “what” but does not impact the “why”. Every family will have a different “why” for their desire to volunteer/serve others and COG wants to embrace that. We want to engage all families in volunteer service and welcome their “why” as a part of their specific story, not ours. Every “why” will be different, as it should be. Our differences are what makes this such a great opportunity for families across the spectrum to serve together and COG can be the key to opening their door to the “what”. We all have different reasons for wanting to serve and COG strives to embrace all of them to help families find their path to volunteer and service so they can make a difference in this world.

Our family’s “why” shaped the formation of COG, which is why we operate it with a Christian foundation, but that foundation cannot and will not get in the way of the “why” or the “what”. The primary goal of COG is to engage families in service and volunteer work together so we can make this world a little better, and whatever the “why” may be, we will work together as a global family to care for all our brothers and sisters.

Minimalizing

As we prepare for our year of service, we must box and store all of our belongings. Our lease ends at the end of July, right when we leave for Germany, so everything must be boxed, stored, and out of the house before our departure. This has been a huge task, and to be honest, at first it was extremely daunting. Jeff and I have been married for almost 13 years and despite purging a ton when we moved to Wisconsin almost 7 years ago, I am overwhelmed how much “stuff” we have accumulated over the years.

In January 2018 I started packing, organizing, and PURGING. I have gone through our house, room by room, cabinet by cabinet, drawer by drawer to identify what was needed and not needed, not just for our upcoming mission of serving other for a year, but also for our return. We can’t get rid of everything because we still need to furnish an apartment/house when we return. So this task is not just getting rid of everything that we aren’t taking, but rather sifting though our belongings and identifying what to keep, sell, or throw away. We also have to be aware of the amount of stuff we decide to keep. A wonderful friend has offered to store all our belongings in her basement, and while there is plenty of room, we must still be respectful of their space and store only what is necessary.

1 of 3 stacks of boxes to be stored. I anticipate 1-2 more stacks like this one.

As I started to create piles of “keep”, “donate”, “sell”, and “garbage”, I realized how many things we had that we didn’t need or even use. It was wonderful to drop off 2 bags of towels to the homeless shelter (I was amazed, we had acquired roughly 40 some different towels or various sizes–who needs that many!) Our small pile of items for the garage sale behind my couch downstairs has very quickly grown into boxes and boxes of “stuff”. As I look behind my couch, I am astounded how much “excess” we actually have despite my efforts over the years to get rid of things we don’t use or need. In doing all of this, I have realized the majority of our belongings we chose to keep were pictures, photo albums, books, heirlooms, and items that spark a certain memory. These items bring us joy, happiness, peace, etc., I have also recognized that all those items behind my couch don’t, they just provide me with clutter and frustration (because of course it was more to clean, put away, etc). Once I realized this, it was easier to go through it all and decide whether to keep it or get rid of it. I asked myself, does it bring our family joy, happiness, peace, comfort? Yes–keep. No–gone. Simple, right?

Well, not always. The things that were the hardest for me to get rid of were the expensive items. I think it was hard to purge these items because I felt that I was wasting money. They were expensive so we should keep them. The problem was we didn’t use them and they were just taking up space and collecting dust. Another thing that was difficult were the things we might use in the future. I have to be honest, I don’t like the idea of buying an item twice because I got rid of it only to find that I needed it later. However, what I am seeing is that as I have packed and purged items around our house, it is becoming more clear what we really need to live happily. The 12 beautiful wine glasses, while they were very pretty, really served no use to us; we don’t entertain that many people–ever! The juice extracter that I just had to have 13 years ago, has not been used in 10. The home decor that we kept after moving from Arizona has only made our new home seem smaller and more cluttered. I had to move past the thought that was focused on money, it may have been expensive and maybe it was useful to us then, but it’s not any more and if I can’t use, maybe someone else can.

I am really looking forward to the ways this next year is going to change our family’s view on what we need to be happy and to live a fulfilling life. We will be spending the next year with only the items we can carry and I know we are going to pack up those backpacks with as much as possible. I am also expecting to realize that many items we thought we needed were just superfluous and that we actually left out things we really needed. I know that we will come back to Wisconsin a changed family, with a new perspective on what we need and as we begin to unpack all the boxes and boxes we thought we would still need, we will find many things that we don’t. But those are things that we can’t understand or know now; we need the experience to shape us and teach us a new way of life, whatever that looks like.

I don’t believe that a minimalist lifestyle means that you live with nothing, but rather that you have learned what is truly important and needed. In our modern culture, we are bombarded with gadgets and things that are supposed to make our lives easier and I have been sucked in many times, but to what cost? Does that gadget to core and slice an apple all at once really make our lives that much easier? I know for me, this gadget has actually been more time consuming and has brought me more pain than I could’ve imagined. The silly thing never works right and I always end up having to use a knife to cut the remaining core off the apple slices, so not only do I have to wash the apple corer I also now have a knife–I have just created an extra dish to wash! Not to mention the three times I have either sliced my fingers or hand. I know, silly example, but hopefully you get the point. All these things are labeled and marketed to us under the pretense of making our lives easier, actually may be doing quite the opposite. It gives us the notion that if we only had that “thing/item” our lives would be better or easier, so we work harder and longer to earn the money to acquire it…but what’s the reality? We sacrificed time with the family and end up with a kitchen or house full of utensils, gadgets, and toys (yes, toys too) that never get used. I have fallen victim to this mentality many times, and I am pretty sure that I have not had my last encounter either. (The toys are a whole different blog, but let’s just say that I am really looking forward to my children experiencing this very minimalist lifestyle, even if its just for this one year. My hope is that they will come to see that they don’t need all of the stuff to make them happy and have fun!)

I am not saying that consumerism is a bad thing. We live in a post-enlightenment era and we are blessed with many things that really make our lives easier and that I don’t want to be without (aka: a dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, electricity, etc). I am just learning that what I thought was previously necessary or helpful may not always be the case and I am looking forward to this next year and how much I am going to learn about myself, my family, and what is truly necessary for us to have a happy and fulfilling life.

Jeff and Sara’s Sermon

A couple of weeks ago we were privelaged to give a sermon at our church. This was a new endeavor for us and we now have a much greater appreciation for those that do this every week. I understand that the recording is a bit long (amount 19 minutes), but it provides the journey and winding path we have traveled during this planning process.

Sermon

God’s Gifts and Calls (post from 2/1/18)

No two people are the same. We all have been gifted with different talents, attributes, passions, and paths to follow. I have recently started reading In God’s Hands by Desmond Tutu and right away he addresses this very topic and I love his insight. He explains that is not just our unique gifts that make us so special but that we are all meant to complement one another. My weakness is your strength and visa versa. This is what really connects us together and it makes me wonder if this is another one of God’s grand ideas…we are all imperfect beings, but together with each of us using our own given talents or “God’s gifts”, we could actually become perfect beings (I know, very utopian). Maybe, humanity as a collective whole can be perfect amongst our individual imperfections; Together Everyone Achieves More (TEAM). This feeds into why He made us all so diverse, alone we are sinful and flawed though made in His image, but as a whole we all make up God. We all are individual pieces or reflections of God as a whole and this is why we are so unique; we alone can’t make up all of what God is. We are like a gigantic jigsaw puzzle, each one of us is a little piece of God, but when we are all connected together, we make up the beautiful masterpiece that is God himself.

God created all of humanity and I believe He made us so different so we could supplement the individual flaws of others, and others for us. This uniqueness is also transferred to the calls He relays to us, no call is ever the same and no path laid before a person is ever the same. God needs missionaries, volunteers, He needs teachers, fire fighters, soldiers, lawyers, doctors, janitors, and everyone in between. He needs all of us doing what we do best for Him in order for His plans to work; everyone’s individual path is important to the whole. No calling is more important, better, or less than another, especially if it came from God. The path that God has led me and my family down is no more important than yours. Our paths are different, just as we are different. I believe that He wants us to embrace our differences and our unique paths so we can serve His world collectively, as a TEAM. We can’t make a difference alone, we need each other. We need our uniqueness to serve each other, our world, and most importantly, God. Let us all use our individual gifts and talents from God to follow our unique path, and let us do this together as a TEAM to complete the puzzle and make our world a better place; the place God envisioned for us.

Following God’s Calls (Post from 01/14/18)

As we get closer to our departure date (it’s only 7 months away!) I am reminded of how crazy this idea may seems to others. Imagine someone asking you to give up your job and career, leave your house and belongings behind, deplete your savings, pull your children out of school for a year, and go to remote parts of the world to serve those who need help; give yourself selflessly to others and sacrifice all you have to make it happen. This seems absolutely insane and irresponsible, but what if these requests came from God? What if God Himself has directed you and your family to do these things in His name. Do you say “no” to God? God has given all of us free choice and it is up to us to decide whether to follow the calls and the signs. But just as we have the choice to follow His path, we can also choose not to; to ignore or overlook them or just straight up say “no”. Though He wants us to follow and obey His call, we have a choice and the decision is ours. We chose to follow.

God’s voice is not always loud and clear, sometimes it comes in soft whispers that can be easily overlooked or blocked out. For me, God’s call to me began as a soft whisper which came to me while scouring Facebook for new updates on family and friends. I read a post and something inside of me said to share it with Jeff; so I did. I believe this was my first call from God, just a gentle nudge. God continued to open doors to this idea and to be honest, also closing them too. From the beginning, Jeff and I decided to approach our plans with an open mind and an open heart so we could hear God’s call. We decided that He would not lead us astray, but that we had to be diligent and attentive to his voice. This meant that there was a possibility that this was not our path and we had to be able to accept that and move on wherever He was leading us. It has been amazing to watch His work in all of this. When something wasn’t right for us, the door was closed (sometimes even slammed) and it was during these times that we started to question whether this was the right path for our family. But it seemed that as soon as either of us voiced this concern or feeling, another door was immediately opened, not only to new opportunities/partnerships, but also to ways to make this happen. He has continued to work through people around us to encourage and to keep moving forward by placing a desire within them to support us through this venture. “Ask, and it will be given to you; search and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”—Matthew 7:7

Jeff wrote a blog a few months back titled Scouting for God basically having an open mind and heart to seeing God’s signs around us, not for the sake of the signs themselves, but for the path which they lead us and the reward at the end. I think that having an open heart and an open mind will also allow us to not only be open to these signs from God, but also to hear the soft whispers and the loud screams from Him. It is very easy to ignore these “calls” from God. They can easily get lost in the busy, crazy, loud life we live (kids screaming and fighting, constant noise of music or TV, or the constant drum of the vast internet). I believe these “signs” and “calls” from God are intertwined, they are not the same, but they work together as a way for Him to show us the path He would like us to take and follow. These calls from God are the gently tug at your heart urging you to do something or the push you feel in a certain direction. They are those feelings you can‘ t explain or those ideas that pop into your head from out of nowhere. It could be anything from reading a Facebook post and feeling the urge to share it with a certain person or the desire to share your story with a total stranger. The point is, you never know where these things will lead. For me, they continue to lead to something amazing. Sharing a post with Jeff led to this calling; sharing my story with a stranger led to a generous gift to help.

I came across a quote that speaks volumes to this idea of faith and following God’s call, especially during difficult times: “When God pushes you to the edge of difficulty trust Him fully because two things can happen; Either He’ll catch you when you fall or He will teach you how to fly.” God can do anything He wants, “with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26); I truly believe this. This calling has not been an easy path to follow, quite the opposite. One of the most amazing things for me has been how both Jeff and I have had regular lapses in faith and yet when one is weak the other is strong. At several different moments one of us became weak in our faith and wholly questioned this calling and this path we were following, but when one of us had this moment of weakness, the other had an overpowering moment of strength. For me this is God’s call for us; when we are weak in faith He puts people around us that are strong to help keep us on our path. God will continue to guide us down this path and will continue to show us the way, both through signs and His words to us. “Twant me, ‘twas the Lord. I always told him, ‘I trust to you. I don’t know where to go or what to do, but I expect you to lead me,’ and He always did.” —Harriet Tubman.

It is not an easy task to have an open heart, an open mind, and open ears and eyes to God’s call and the signs He lays before us. It takes great effort and is something that we have to be mindful of each moment of every day. We will fail often and our faith will be strong one day and weak the next. I will leave you with this, “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8) I have nothing to fear with God on my side, he will either catch me when I fall or teach me to fly; either way, He will be with me. I will do my best to keep my faith strong and all of me open to His word and His calling. I am His servant and I know He will never abandon me.

A Positive Spin on Negative News

Steven Pinker opined in the Guardian on February 17th that there is an overwhelming trend towards negative reporting in news outlets.  For a child growing up with cable and satellite television and the myriad channels dedicated solely to the dissemination of news and having seen first hand how the lead topics of every nightly report are murder, rape, war, and graft, this trend is no surprise.  I have only ever known the news to report first and foremost on the worst of the worst.  As Mr. Pinker pointedly remarks, the adage of the day is if it bleeds, it leads.  Having also lived in a small town, then a big city, and then to a small city, I have seen a wide spectrum of how this plays out.  On the local channels there is typically a nod to a trending national headline (almost always negative)  followed by local headlines.  In the larger towns this usually starts with who was murdered that day or if no one was, the next most egregious list of crimes that occurred.

In our current situation we are fortunate that the list of crimes is usually fairly short and mercifully aligned with drug overdoses or bank robberies, not mass murders or worse.  It has gotten to the point where I no longer watch the news because frankly, I am not interested in hearing about all the bad things that have happened that day.  I have no doubt they occur and I am not supposing that ignorance will yield bliss or make the problems go away.  But simply put, there really is nothing I can do to stop a drug dealer from dealing his drugs.  I cannot stop a group of gang members from shooting each other, and I cannot intervene when a parent abuses his children.  The Federal and state authorities are tasked with this effort.  Instead, I try to focus on the areas that I can impact.  I look for the politicians who will support tough crime laws that will directly empower those authorities tasked with preventing or at least cleaning up the mess left behind by evil.  I look for opportunities to create positive outcomes for our community so that there will be fewer people who feel helpless and turn to crime as what they perceive to be the only solution to their predicaments in life.  I try to find ways to bring good to the world when it seems all we hear is bad.

As Mr. Pinker points out, the statistics reflect that there is a propensity for apathy or inactivity when the situation seems hopeless.  Why do anything if everything you do has no effect?  Pinker also published a study which reflects statistically that the world is currently in the most peaceful era it has ever seen (as measured by violent deaths per 100,000 people).  There are fewer wars occuring now then any other time in known, recorded history.  Would you have believed that from watching your news feed today?  I know from my personal experience that if I had to answer whether I thought the world was safer or more unstable and dangerous I would have to default to the latter.  Why?  Because despite the evidence to the contrary (evidence which goes underreported or not reported at all) the multitude of news stories is focused on the negative.  I don’t know if this is a function of the human condition or not.  Are we so guilt ridden from original sin that we cannot fathom to be deserving of peace and prosperity?  Maybe we just need violence and disruption in order to feel important.

I cannot begin to speak for anyone other than myself but I will say that there was a time when I intensely obeserved the news, formulated my strong opinion about the need for a crackdown in all phases of life to stop the bad guys, and vowed to be vigilant in the efforts of justice in the face of lawlessness.  And then I had children.  I watched them play unassumingly and unaware of the evils and dangers that were, according to eyewitness news accounts, around every fathomable corner.  My children weren’t, fortunately, in danger of imminent abduction or murder.  Now, I count my blessings that I have been fortunate to live in neighborhoods where gang violence and drug abuse are not prevalent but crime doesn’t just happen in these places and the news is all too happy to report this.

So after careful observation I started focusing more on the positives.  Laughter, empathy, friendship.  And while I am aware that danger still exists, I am also focused more on how my children have given me the hope and courage to focus on the positives in the world.  You see, it’s easy to gravitate to the negative.  It makes you feel good to not be the bad guy.  It’s easy to say you did the right thing by condemning the man who raped his neighbor or the “sicko” who shot up a country music concert.  But it’s hard to do something about it beyond the words.  It’s hard to give up a Friday evening to go serve dinner to 100 strangers who have no home and are in desperate need of a hot meal to fill their stomachs.   It’s hard to volunteer your time at the county jail to bring comfort to a man who may have committed unforgivable crimes and to remind him that he is still a man, flawed like us all, but deserving of love nonetheless.  It is hard to forego that next latte or round of golf so you can donate to a charity that serves those in need, or those who are sick, or those who may not look, believe, or think like you.  Fortunately, there are a lot of people out there that make those sacrifices.  I only wish the news spent more time lauding their efforts, mundane as they might seem for the ratings gurus.

Perhaps the ratings for good deeds are low because those good deeds remind us of how we all could do more.  And the reminder that we aren’t as profundly good as we think ourselves to be is a turnoff.  It certainly is a lot easier to feel good about myself when I see all the bad things others are doing that I am not.  I can boast of my goodness relative to those who are stealing, murdering, and waging a war of unjustice.  But looking at the great deeds of others puts into stark relief that which I am not doing.  Am I living the life of Christ, a life for others or am I living a life of me, focused on my happiness, my personal gains, my status in society?  If the answer is the latter then it is no wonder that I am drawn to negative news as a buffer to my own falibility.

The great news is that we can all break this habit if we deep down desire to do so.  It is not easy, no habit is easy to break.  But in doing so we will live a life far more fulfilling and far more impactful than the one we live by just not being that guy on the news whose mugshot is the lead story.  We need those good news stories to challenge us to be better.  It’s okay for us to look at others and feel bad for not doing more.  In fact it might be really healthy for us.  A reminder that we can be better and should try.  Seeing someone just like us who is capable of making a difference should inspire us and give us the confidence that we too can do the same thing.  It doesn’t take someone special to do something good.  Quite the opposite.  If you really look at it, it takes someone special to commit an act of evil, if not, then there would be a lot more people committing crimes in this world right?  The fact is that we don’t need to be, and probably outght not be, special.  We just need to be us and we need to make a committment to do good for others.  The ratings might not be there but the path to salvation, to a happier life, and a safer planet surely is.

The Cost of Discipleship (post from 10/18/2017)

“I am a little pencil in God’s hands. He does the thinking. He does the writing. He does everything and sometimes it is really hard because it is a broken pencil and He has to sharpen it a little more.” —Mother Theresa

Do you hear that? You have to sit quietly and really listen. Did you feel something tug at your heart? Do you hear that small, faint voice in the back of your mind telling you something?

The problem is, that small, faint voice and the gentle tug at your heart is often too hard for us to hear/feel. We are so busy with the day in and day out tasks of life that we often don’t hear it. It often becomes that white noise that gets drowned out by all the craziness of being a mother, father, husband, wife, brother, sister, daughter, son, friend, etc.

About 4 years ago an old injury to my foot started to create new problems for me; problems that prevented me from running (which by the way, is something I actually enjoy). So I turned to various exercise programs to fill the gap—cardio/plio workouts were great but unfortunately still too hard on my feet, then I found my way to yoga. In trying multiple yoga programs I found I was never challenged with the 30-40 minute videos I bought until I was turned onto The Ultimate Yogi. This program gave me the opportunity to get an excellent workout, which I was desperately craving and needing, but it also gave me another invaluable resource…meditation. Through this program I learned how to quiet my mind (believe me, I am no pro at this and I still have a lot to learn).

Then the most amazing thing started happening. I started to feel this pull in my heart that I should be doing more. More with my life, more with my family, more for the world. I felt that I had so much more to give then what I was presently doing. So I did what others have probably done, I started volunteering with our church, taking on more responsibilities and getting more involved. As much as I would love to say that this was the answer, it wasn’t. I never felt that I was meeting my potential or doing what I was supposed to be doing with my life and my family. Then I started to hear this small and quiet voice during my meditations. Then I started hearing it during the day, at various times. What I realized was that this quiet voice I kept hearing was God. He was speaking to me. God was there inside of me just as He has been my whole life, I just never paid attention—I wasn’t listening. He had plans for me and my family.

In May 2016, I had a wonderful High School teacher post a message to Facebook that sparked a conversation between Jeff (my husband) and me. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who felt that we were destined for something else. The more we discussed the idea of a year of service and volunteer work to those who were most in need, the more we started to experience the signs God was placing all around us. Signs that we would have never seen had we not been willing to open our hearts, minds, and souls to His voice. God was not telling us what to do, He was guiding us and showing us the path He wanted for us, we just had to make the decision to follow. Which, by the way, is a very difficult and scary decision because His callings rarely come without sacrifice and sometimes heartache.

This decision to follow the path God laid before us was a decision not taken lightly. Actually it was completely opposite, we fought it at every turn for quite a while. This decision to leave our careers, our home, and pull our kids out of school for one year to travel to remote parts of the world where people needed help and love almost seems careless, reckless, irresponsible. In order to do this with hearts, minds, and souls that were open to God’s call, we needed to be completely free of all things that were tying us down and keeping us from being open to following the path to its full extent, whatever that may be. “Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase” (funmunch.com) For us, this meant making a decision that had the potential to hurt people we love dearly. This decision became very heavy. How do you make a decision you fear is going to hurt those you love? Doesn’t that make it a bad decision then? What if something bad happens to one of us? How are we going to afford this? These are some of the questions we wrestled with for quite some time.

I am not sure why or how I came across a bible verse that I have always struggled with understanding its true meaning, but I did.

Now large crowds were traveling with him; and he turned and said to them, “whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish’. Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace. So therefore, none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions.” (Luke 14:25-33)

I think part of why I struggled so much with this scripture passage is because I never understood why Jesus would ask us to “hate” those we love the most; our mother and father, our spouse and children, our brothers and sister, etc. But what I have come to understand is that He is not telling us to actually hate them, what He is telling us that sometimes our decisions to follow Him can hurt those we hold most dear. Hence the title of this post, “The Cost of Discipleship”. He is telling us that following him sometimes means going against what our loved ones want for us and what others think is best. Sometimes following Him can inadvertently affect those we love. Sometimes we have to swim upstream to be His disciple and that in of itself is huge sacrifice. He knows this because He made the ultimate sacrifice when He died for our sins—talk about swimming upstream!

This part of our calling has been the most difficult for me. There are some that do not understand why we would want to leave our comfortable lives for an unknown, that have difficulty seeing the beauty past the fear. Others who may feel that are decisions were made to hurt those close to us. I think Jesus understood this, which is why we have this scripture passage. Jesus is saying that being His disciple is not easy and not everyone will understand; that you may have to swim upstream and go against those you hold most dear in order to follow Him, that there is a cost associated with being His disciple. The choice to follow Him as a disciple is one that is grounded in faith that He will always be there for you, during the great moments and the very difficult ones; but it is still a choice. I saw a quote that speaks just to this, “Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof” (Kahlil Gibran). I cannot prove that everything will be perfect, and I highly doubt it will be. I cannot prove that we will be cared for and will be given what we want—but my faith says that we will get what we need, maybe not what we want, but always what we need. I will close with this passage from Proverbs 3:5-6…

Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.